Relationship Magic: The Secret to Happily Ever After June 23, 2008
Posted by Anita in Advice for Men, Advice for Women, Book Reviews, Dating & Relationships.Tags: Book Reviews, Books, divorce, Edythe Denkin, fairytales, Imago Therapy, life, Living Happily Ever After, living together, love, marriage, marriage counseling, Relationship Magic: The Secret to Happily Ever After, relationships, Reviews, romance, sex
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Chapter 1
A Marriage in Peril
Once upon a time in the faraway kingdom of Lavonia, there lived a young prince named James. Prince James was kind and generous. He showed great promise as a future ruler of the kingdom. The royal family lived in splendor in a beautiful castle. The lavish balls and ceremonies of state were a continued source of admiration and wonder for the citizens of the kingdom and visiting dignitaries. Prince James received the best education and all the material wealth that befit a young prince. He grew tall and strong. The citizens of Lavonia felt secure in the future of their monarchy.
However, as is often the case, behind the castle walls, all was not well within the royal household. The king and queen, once the happiest of lovers, had begun to grow apart not long after young James was born. The volatile King John often reacted to his queen with unrelenting and thoughtless criticism. The queen abhorred confrontation and simply walked away when the king was in one of his tempers. This practice continued until the royal couple became so distant that they were almost strangers.
Young James did not escape his father’s wrath. He himself was often a target. Taking after his mother, Prince James did not quarrel with his father. He attempted to avoid confrontation by putting distance between himself and the king and nurturing his dreams for the future. He longed for the day when he would meet his soul mate and find all the love and affection he craved but could not find within his own family.
Many miles away, there lived a beautiful young maiden named Cinda. She, too, longed for escape from her family turmoil. Her parents, also once so happy and in love, had fallen on hard times. Her mother could find no good in her father. As he was a weak man, and could not face his wife, he decided to seek his fortune and happiness elsewhere, leaving young Cinda and her mother to fend for themselves. Cinda’s mother, in her despair, became bitter and angry, and poor Cinda often felt the lash of her sharp tongue. The desolate young girl would stare out her window, dreaming of her prince, her knight in shining armor who would rescue her, shower her with love and attention, and most importantly, never leave her.
One day, as Prince James was on a mission for his father, he encountered Cinda, who was on an errand for her mother. It was love at first sight. The young couple soon fell to planning their wedding. Their minds and hearts filled with love and hope for a bright and happy future.
The royal wedding, lavish and extravagant, lifted the hearts of the hopeful nation. As they were joined together in a wedding fit for a king and queen, Cinda and James in all their happiness could not foresee that they had embarked on a difficult and perilous journey that all soul mates must undertake if they wish to find one another and grow together.
Most fairytales end here, with the wedding and the deceptively simple “happily ever after,” but those of us in reality know, the adventure is just beginning, and so it is for Cinda and James. For a while, all appears well in the royal marriage. Cinda and James show all the signs of being deeply in love. Soon, they produce two lovely children, Lucinda and Luke. The young couple shares their hopes and dreams, their trials and disappointments. There doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to say all that they wish to say.
However, gradually, the royal couple starts to drift apart, as their parents did. It appears that the scars of their childhoods are haunting them still. James and Cinda watch with growing frustration as their relationship unravels and the bond between them weakens.
Now, several years after that happy and wondrous wedding day, Prince James, once the most eligible and charming bachelor his kingdom has ever known, awakens in the early morning from a restless sleep. His wife, Princess Cinda, lies asleep next to him, her blond hair furled out upon the satin pillow and a slight frown on her face.
And so it begins…
It’s not every day a fairytale is written for grownups.
But marriage counselor, Edythe Denkin, PhD, has done just that in her new book Relationship Magic: The Secret to Happily Ever After.
The reader is introduced to Prince James and Princess Cinda, who are on the verge of divorce.
Poor communication skills, negative thinking, and the repetition of unconscious behaviors learned in childhood, have taken a toll on their once magical union.
You will follow the royal couple as they embark upon a journey to heal their relationship – guided by their mentor, the mysterious Satori and his affectionate dog, Woodrow.
Meanwhile (since every good fairytale has a villain), Cinda’s “friend” Morella – who has her eye on the prince – colludes with the gardener, in an attempt to sabotage James’ and Cinda’s efforts.
“Cinda and James’s fairytale is representative of typical events in the lives of hundreds of couples…,” writes Denkin.
“In the beginning, when their relationship brings them so many magical moments, they look forward to spending the rest of their lives together…. But after the first few years, the same criticism, blame, and shame they absorbed from their parents begins to creep into their lives. Because they unknowingly bring the same negative energy from their childhood wounds into their marriage, they find they are repeating similar patterns of their parents that they swore they would never do.”
As someone who’s personally experienced trauma in her own childhood, I identified with Princess Cinda’s wounded child within and the negative thinking and behavior that inevitably accompany such wounds.
Based on Imago Relationship Therapy, Dr. Denkin shows you how not to take personally what your partner says or does and how to empathize with your partner’s point of view through “intentional dialogue.”
By becoming aware of how you react to your partner and understanding the reasons behind those reactions, you can both learn to feel loved, rather than rewounded by old childhood issues.
Written in simple, easy-to-understand language, this book will appeal to those who find typical self-help books a little too dry or who don’t enjoy muddling through unfamiliar terminology.
Since the concepts are presented in the form of a story, learning and remembering them is a breeze. Plus, each chapter highlights the important points for quick reference and ends with questions to ask yourself, based on the lessons learned.
Whether you’re already married, living with your partner, or just thinking about cohabitating, Relationship Magic will show you how to stop repeating negative patterns and how to treat your partner with respect, honor, and trust – so you too can live “happily ever after” with the man or woman of your dreams.


This sounds like an amazing book. As I am reading your review, I wonder how much of my own childhood affects not only the relationship I have with my spouse, but also with my children. Sounds like I really need to read this book.
Thanks for the great review!
Cheryl
[...] PhD., author of the self-help/relationship book, Relationship Magic, will be stopping off at Ask Anita! Relationships bring out unconscious behavior learned in childhood. Prince James and Princess Cinda [...]
Wow, wonderful review. Relationships are right up my alley…love your blog, Anita!