Ask Anita

Dear Anita:
I am an international student who has been in U.S. for three years, and I’m now a senior in high school. I have a boyfriend who is loving and caring about me; he seems to be the perfect person for me, and I am in love with him. He’s in community college, and we meet up pretty much every single day to hang out.

But here is the problem: I want to go to university somewhere in the east side of the U.S. – like Maryland, New York, or Pennsylvania. It was the whole purpose of coming to America and it is costing a lot of money. But I’m in California right now, and so is my boyfriend. Although I love him, at the same time, I cannot let go of my future! Fortunately, my BF told me that he would go wherever I go for my college. But I’m a realistic person. All the family he has is in California, so how the hell is he going to go somewhere far away from his home? He already has problems with finances since he has a single mom.

Should I just stop thinking about this, since I could get hurt if he does not come with me next year? And even if he does come, do you think it is a plan that would actually work out? I am so scared of my future. We are only 18 years old, but we do not want to lose each other. And we don’t ever know who is THE person in our lives. ~Worried Sick

Dear Worried:
You are clearly an intelligent and well-grounded young woman, and I think you already know the answer to your question. You recognize that your sole purpose in coming to the U.S. was to get an education – so obviously, that’s what you should be doing, whether or not your current BF tags along for the ride.

I’m sure you do love him, and I don’t mean to trivialize what you’re feeling. But if things don’t work out between you, I promise that, in time, you’ll meet someone else just as loveable. At 18, you’re still considered a child in many states, so the last thing you should be doing is worrying about whether or not this boy is THE ONE you are meant to spend the rest of your life with. (Chances are, he’s not.)

For now, all you have to do is concentrate on furthering your education and getting on with your life. If your BF moves to another state with you, great! If he doesn’t, you’ll be so busy with university and other new experiences that within a few months, you’ll be wondering why you ever thought this was such a big deal in the first place.

Good luck and have fun wherever you end up!